Matshona Dhliwayo once said, \u201cAn archer must never blame the target for missing it.\u201d It\u2019s a simple but powerful idea. It reminds us to look at our actions and choices instead of blaming others when things don\u2019t go as planned.<\/p>\n
Too often, we take good advice and put it in little boxes. We label it as \u201cwork advice,\u201d \u201cparenting advice,\u201d or \u201crelationship advice.\u201d We treat different parts of our lives as if they\u2019re separate from each other. But what if we didn\u2019t? What if we used the lessons we learned in one area of life in all the others? What if we stopped dividing our lives into categories and started seeing everything as connected?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll admit it: I fail. A lot. I fail as a husband, as a dad, and as a person. When my kids spill water on the floor, my first reaction is to get annoyed. I feel frustrated because now I have more work to do. But if I\u2019m being honest, I\u2019m missing the point. I\u2019m blaming the wrong thing. I\u2019m blaming my kids, my \u201ctarget,\u201d when the fault lies with me.<\/p>\n
Kids are still learning about the world. They\u2019re figuring out how things work, like how gravity makes water spill and how to control their hands. They aren\u2019t trying to make a mess; they\u2019re just learning. So why do I get frustrated? I expect them to act like they already know things they haven\u2019t been taught. That\u2019s on me. I should guide, teach, and give them time to grow. I know it\u2019s my job at work to train and encourage people. Why shouldn\u2019t I do the same at home?<\/p>\n
The same idea applies to my marriage. It\u2019s easy to get annoyed when my wife doesn\u2019t meet an expectation I\u2019ve set. Maybe the dishes aren\u2019t done, or the curtains aren\u2019t hung up yet. But have I ever told her those things matter to me? Or am I just assuming she should know? If I haven\u2019t communicated, that\u2019s my fault, not hers. Expectations are only fair when both people understand them.<\/p>\n
Life\u2019s frustrations usually aren\u2019t one-sided. Just like I feel disappointed sometimes, so do the people I love. My kids are figuring out their world, and I\u2019m still figuring out mine. My wife has her own hopes and challenges, just like I do. Leadership\u2014whether at work, home, or anywhere else\u2014requires grace. It means being patient and kind, even when others make mistakes. It\u2019s easier to show grace to strangers or coworkers than the people we love most. Why? Because we feel safe with them. We trust they\u2019ll forgive us, so we let our frustrations show. But that doesn\u2019t make it right.<\/p>\n
We must remember that everyone\u2014our kids, spouse, and friends\u2014is facing their own struggles. For every time they frustrate us, we probably frustrate them just as much. If we can show grace to coworkers or strangers, we can also show it to our loved ones. Being a good leader\u2014and a good person\u2014means looking at ourselves first.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t blame the target. Look inward. When we do, we find ways to grow, forgive, and do better. Being a better human starts with how we treat the people closest to us. Take the lessons we learn in one part of life and use them to improve every part. Aim true.<\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Matshona Dhliwayo once said, \u201cAn archer must never blame the target for missing it.\u201d It\u2019s a simple but powerful idea. It reminds us to look at our actions and choices instead of blaming others when things don\u2019t go as planned. Too often, we take good advice and put it in little boxes. We label it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2307,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_custom_body_class":"","_custom_post_class":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,12,34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humanfirst","category-journal","category-thoughts"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2306"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2308,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306\/revisions\/2308"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2307"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidbrownonline.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}