by David Brown
Most people are terrified of failure. They do everything possible to avoid it. But if you want to achieve anything significant in life, you have to be willing to fail. Failure is a necessary step on the road to success.
In order to grow and learn, you need to make mistakes. And to make mistakes, you need to take risks. That’s why failure is essential to personal growth. Every time you try something new, and it doesn’t work out, you learn something valuable that can help you be more successful next time around.
It is said that growth comes from being uncomfortable. Why? As we get settled into our careers, we become complacent. We have what C.S. Lewis calls the curse of knowledge. We take for granted the journey that got us to where we are. We forget how learning is associated with not knowing all of the answers.
Growth is a function of a lack of knowledge mixed with a desire to improve your current position. Your current position seeks to make you comfortable, complacent, and settled. You want to be a little uncomfortable to improve your current situation. The only way to grow is not to know all the answers and move forward anyway.
But this requires a certain amount of failure. We have to take risks and learn through experience what doesn’t work to reframe our strategy for the future. This is not an easy process, but it is necessary if you will achieve anything genuinely unique with your life. Have you ever thought about how Thomas Edison invented the first light bulb? He invented hundreds of them failed hundreds of times until he got it right.
You must understand just what failure means before taking on this philosophy of experimentation. Failure does not mean giving up on an idea or goal because it’s too hard or you don’t like it. It means giving up your old way of thinking and acquiring new knowledge through experience that will allow you to move forward more effectively.
Failure means trying out something new without knowing if it will work, sharing an idea with someone even though they may criticize it, or giving yourself permission to mess up and not stress about it.
When you want to achieve something in life, you will do whatever it takes, regardless of the consequences. It would help if you stopped caring what other people think and start thinking for yourself. You can’t let the fear of criticism hold you back from reaching your full potential.
Stop Worrying Yourself
IF we are going to be uncomfortable, we have to accept not having all knowledge. This humility is what leads us to actual growth. Set the ego aside and not worry if others will judge you for not having a solution for each problem you are presented with.
When you are not afraid of failure, failing is just a part of the process of reaching your goal. We have to stop worrying about what people think of us. We have to be willing to stand alone if that’s what it takes for us to keep moving forward.
If you are entirely focused on your goal and are willing to fail, you can accomplish anything. The first key is being comfortable with being uncomfortable.
A young man was walking on a beach one day when he came across a sign that said, “You cannot step in the same river twice.” This puzzled him, so he asked a wise older man what it meant. The old man replied, “It means that you can never go back to the same experience twice.”
This is very relevant to the philosophy of failure. Failure doesn’t mean giving up on an idea or goal; it means learning from your mistakes and moving forward. You can never go back to the same experience twice, so you have to keep trying new things to grow and learn.
When you are comfortable in your present situation, be it work, school, life, et cetera, you are complacent. You may be going through the motions of life. Perhaps you feel dissatisfied, stuck, and have felt a lack of meaning. To break through these feelings, push yourself. Try new things. Seek out discomfort and challenge it.
This can be a scary thing to do, but if you fail, so what? You have to stop worrying about what people think of you and worry about the facts instead. It’s only one moment in time.
The facts are that your current situation is not good enough for you, so get out there and find something better. If you keep doing the same old things day in and day out, nothing will change for the better.
In other words, never settle for anything less than everything that life has to offer; after all, if we don’t take risks, then how would we ever know where our limits lie?
When you are focused and driven, nothing can stop you from achieving your goals. Failure is just a part of the process, so don’t let it discourage you. Keep trying new things and learning from your mistakes until you reach your destination. Don’t be afraid to stand alone if that’s what it takes; after all, nobody ever accomplished anything significant by following the herd. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable and never settle for anything less than everything life has to offer.
by David Brown
Some of the most important decisions we make in our lives are made when faced with a fork in the road and don’t know which path to choose.
The thing to understand about decisions is that when we make them at crossroads in our lives, they tend to be exclusive. If we take Job offer A, we cannot accept Job offer B. The consequences of the decision will have a lasting impact on our future. The best way to make a crossroads decision is with careful preparation and anticipation.
1# The Career Decision
A career decision is very closely related to the crossroads of our lives. It may not be the most important at all, of course, but it has more impact on our daily lives than many other decisions.
So, how do you make the right decision? It’s essential to take into account risk factors like changing careers. You don’t want to end up doing something that you hate – it will be far too easy to fall into depression and desperation for income. Don’t let money be your primary motivation for choosing a job; try not to expect to make lots of money as soon as possible. There are people who do work they love, and they don’t get paid much at all, but they’re happy with what they do.
How can we know if we made the right choice? How can we recognize when a particular job is a good fit for us long-term? What makes most career choices difficult is that there’s no simple or easy answer to that question.
The one thing you should do when deciding on a job is to anticipate your future in it. Ask yourself if you could see yourself doing this job every day for at least five years, ten years? How long can you really see yourself working in this particular field? Only choose a career path where the answer is positive.
2# Going back to School or Getting an Advanced Degree
If two choices are equal – let’s say they’re both excellent career paths and have similar salaries, then sometimes going back to school or getting an advanced degree is what makes the difference. In some cases, it might be what will open up more doors for us down the road. You need to think about whether or not you want to learn more about the profession you have chosen or whether it will be better for your career goals to go get another degree or complete a certificate program.
There are many positives to going back to school. For one, you will be able to gain more knowledge in the field you have chosen. Additionally, you will be able to learn new skills that can help you in your career. You may also be able to network with other professionals in your field and get advice on how to move forward in your career. Going back to school can also help you stay current in your area and keep up with changes in the industry.
Making the decision to go back to school can be a difficult one. It’s essential to weigh all of the pros and cons before making a final decision. Here are a few things to consider when making your decision:
- -How will going back to school help you achieve your goals?
- -Can you afford to return to school?
- -Do you have the time to devote to studying?
- -Will you be able to find a job once you graduate?
- -Is the program you’re interested in reputable and accredited?
- -What are the living expenses like in the city where the school is located?
These are just some of the things you need to think about when making your decision. It’s not an easy one to make, but it’s an important one nonetheless.
3# Moving to Another City/Country
This is another of the most critical decisions in our lives that come at a crossroads. Sometimes there’s no way around it – especially if you have family somewhere else, then moving becomes an inevitable decision. If you’re thinking about moving, though, think carefully before choosing where to go next. Make sure this city or country will make you happy because it may not be so easy to bounce back once you’ve moved somewhere new. Think how good are your chances of finding employment there; are there any other opportunities for professional development? Check out all the pros and cons of that city or country before making the decision.
Making the decision to move to a new city can be daunting. You need to consider all of the pros and cons before making a final decision. Here are a few things to think about:
- -How will moving to a new city help you achieve your goals?
- -Can you afford to move?
- -Is the city you’re interested in reputable and accredited?
- -What are the living expenses like in the city?
4# Marriage/Having Children
This is an important life choice that will inevitably change your life forever. It is one of those crossroads decisions you need to make at a certain point in your life because it’s hard to bounce back once you’ve gone down the “family” path. Make sure this is what you really want; think about how marriage will affect your career goals, if any, and whether parenthood fits with them. Be honest with yourself before taking this huge step – make sure there’s no other reason than true love behind the decision if you do decide to marry someone. Nobody wants to get divorced, but not everybody realizes what it means till they’re in it. Talk to someone you trust before making this life-changing choice; more often than not, they’ll be able to give you some perspective on what you’re planning.
The biggest thing you can do here is to communicate. Know what you want in life and be prepared to talk about that openly with people that you date either early in the relationship or long-term.
5# Leaving A Long Term Relationship
Sometimes the most difficult “crossroads” decisions are the ones about love and relationships. There comes a time when we need to make a tough decision whether or not to end up our long-term relationship with someone we love very much. We all get used to people who are always around us; seeing this person every day, sharing moments together – it’s something that becomes part of our routine pretty quickly, but is this regular routine that will make you happy? If there’s somebody out there who makes you more comfortable than your current partner, then you should move on from your relationship. But make sure it’s the right thing to do – never justify your decision with “I’ll be happier without you anyway.” Make sure this is really what makes you happy and not just an easy way out of a challenging situation or a bad but comfortable habit.
by David Brown
One of the most challenging points about being a young professional is balancing work and life.
It can be easy to find yourself starting to feel like you’re either too busy or not productive enough.
Or that you don’t have time for anything outside of work – friends, family, exercise – because there’s never any time left over once your day is done. But if this sounds like you, here are five tips on how to make your life balance better:
Start the day with a plan.
The best way to set clear plans for your day is by starting it with a to-do list.
Make sure every task you need to accomplish – and even those you’d like to – is right there in front of you so that nothing slips through the cracks. And don’t forget to add in some time for yourself!
Keep a journal of your progress.
Keeping a detailed account of how you spend your day is a great way to help figure out where the balance in your life needs to be improved.
By making sure that you write down each task and putting them into two separate categories – work and personal – it becomes easier to see what tasks are taking up most of your time, which can help you figure out where adjustments need to be made.
It may sound simple, but there’s no better way than writing something down when it comes to committing it to memory.
And who knows? You may even find this habit starting to spill over into other areas of your life, helping you feel more on top of things in general.
Make the most of lunch breaks.
That lunch break is meant to be a time to re-energize yourself by taking a break from work and giving your mind some time off.
Avoid the pitfalls of constantly working through your lunch. This is an excellent time to schedule a time to meet with friends clients or just get out of the office for a few minutes. Grab a coffee, sit at a park, do something that brings you joy. Just don’t sit in front of your desk.
Learn how to say no (responsibly)
This is another excellent way to take advantage of technology – and an important lesson not just for work, but also for life.
Being able to say no to your boss without sounding like you’re lazy or uninterested can be difficult.
Set healthy boundaries with your time. You must respect your time as much as you respect your employer’s needs. Be respectful, and understand that being respectful is a two-way street.
But by explaining that you already have something planned, even if it’s only a quick lunch with a friend, it makes it easier for your boss to understand.
Use weekends wisely
The weekend is meant for relaxing and recharging – not stressing about all the things that are piling up because you weren’t able to get anything done at work.
Sunday isn’t for stressing and getting the ‘Sunday Scaries.’ Sunday is a great way to look at your week ahead and make a game plan to win your week. Write out and prioritize tasks that need to be accomplished. Just make sure when you’re planning your workweek, you aren’t jeopardizing your downtime.
It can be tough to find a work-life balance when just starting your professional career. But by using some of the tips I’ve provided, such as keeping a journal of your progress, making the most of lunch breaks, and learning how to say no responsibly, you’ll be on your way to finding more equilibrium in your life. We hope these tips have been helpful! And don’t forget that it’s essential to take time for yourself – weekends are meant for relaxing and recharging so you can start fresh on Monday morning.
by David Brown
Stoicism is having a huge comeback in popularity. A quick search on Amazon turns up dozens of self-help books describing the philosophy as a sure-fire path to happiness, success, and tranquility. So, what is stoicism? Below is the brief version of stoicism to help you get started in understanding, and more importantly, applying this ancient wisdom in your daily life.
What is Stoicism?
Zeno founded the philosophy of stoicism in the 3rd century BC. He taught me that the best way to deal with difficult situations was to remain calm and rational. People who followed his teachings were known as Stoics.
The philosophy of stoicism teaches that you should always try to be reasonable and logical, no matter what is happening around you. You should never let your emotions get in the way of your decisions, and you should always stay calm under pressure.
To put it simply, you don’t have to react to everything.
Principles of Stoicism
The stoic philosophy teaches that you must control yourself, even if everything else is out of control. This means never letting your emotions rule over your mind. When you act on emotion, it’s usually because something horrible has happened, and now you’re reacting to the horror instead of the facts.
You can allow yourself to be happy after doing a good deed or experiencing a positive result from a goal you’ve been working toward for some time – but only then! Don’t buy into temporary joys. Temporary joys are distractions that separate those with passion from those who like the idea of being passionate.
The stoic philosophy teaches a simple lesson: don’t be a slave to your emotions. When something bad happens, remind yourself that this is not the end of the world; it’s simply an event. Then use your mind to analyze why this happened and how you could have prevented it. And if nothing can be done, then accept it and move on.
Do Stoics have emotions?
You should feel emotions, too; they make you human. But you should never let them control you because doing so will prevent you from living your life to the fullest extent possible. So instead of acting like an animal whenever something good or bad happens, use your head first.
Your emotions are powerful forces, but they also cloud your judgment. Before doing anything important in life – whether you’re speaking up for yourself at work or asking someone out on a date – always ask yourself how you would act if there was no possible negative consequence. You will never get anywhere being timid!
I’m in control, now what?
To have a fulfilling life, you must do more than merely exist. In other words: get off your rear and do something already! Either get busy with your goals by using your head and acting logically, or get a busy living by using your emotions appropriately.
Great men are not born great; they grow great through hard work, responsibility, and getting out there to create the opportunities necessary for growth.
Stoicism and Pleasure
Pleasure is one of the most dangerous things because it is fleeting. But if you can transform your pleasure-seeking drive into an energetic drive for fulfilling important goals, then you will be unstoppable! Whatever is most pleasurable in life becomes average over time, but whatever you use to push yourself toward accomplishing something that excites you will provide endless enjoyment.
The stoic philosophy teaches that nothing great is achieved without some kind of sacrifice – whether it’s money, time, effort, energy, blood/sweat/tears, or something else. Most people fail to do something great because they want everything at once and free of charge.
If you want to have a big house with a white picket fence, then you must be willing to put in the effort required to buy that house and work hard enough to keep it clean, well maintained, and inviting for guests (or perhaps extra bedrooms if children are in your plans). If you don’t like what’s available in your price range, then save up faster; don’t complain about how difficult it is!
Stoics always try
The stoic philosophy teaches that the only real defeat in life comes when we stop trying. The countless hours of lost sleep missed opportunities, forgotten words during an argument, etc., are nothing compared to the reward of living life on your terms. If we give up on ourselves and our dreams (whatever they may be), we might as well have died even before our bodies did.
So, set yourself free. Don’t let yourself be controlled by your emotions. Do not allow yourself to be a slave to your passions. And never forget that you only get one chance at this thing called life, so make it count! Live in the present and continue to push yourself for better each day.
The stoic philosophy is a powerful tool to help us live our lives to the fullest. It teaches us not to be controlled by our emotions and instead use our heads first before doing anything important. We must do more than merely exist; we must get off our rear and take action! Pleasure is fleeting, but if we transform it into an energetic drive to fulfill important goals, we will be unstoppable. Nothing great is achieved without some kind of sacrifice, so be willing to put in the effort required for your dreams. The only real defeat in life comes when we stop trying, so never give up on ourselves.
by David Brown
We all have our outlets for dealing with stress. We pick up hobbies or join sports clubs to blow off steam. But what about video games? Seldom do people count video game playing as a hobby. However, a significant amount of time is spent playing videos games. Is your video game hobby negatively impacting your relationships with your spouse, family, or friends?
Most people would say that playing video games is a hobby. It is an escape from the real world for some, a way to relax and have some fun. However, for others, video game playing has become an addiction. An addiction that is negatively impacting their relationships with friends and family.
Ask yourself these questions to see if maybe its time to put down the controller:
Is your gaming taking priority over other hobbies or social activities?
People need to find time for the things they enjoy doing. If you use the phrase, “I used to…” and are playing video games instead of your past hobbies, you may have a problem. If your hobbies are having to take a back seat to video game playing, it could indicate that something is wrong.
How long do you play video games without interruption?
Video game addiction may sound like an exaggeration, but research shows that almost 10% of gamers display problematic symptoms. Playing longer than three hours in a row at any time is an indicator of a larger problem. The longer one plays, the greater the chances of becoming an addiction.
Do you dream about video games at night?
Dreams are important in helping us recall memories and provide us with solutions to our problems. Video game addicts have reported vivid dreams about specific games.
Many addicts report dreaming about playing their favorite games when it comes to video game dreams. These dreams are often very vivid and can provide a sense of satisfaction that the addict may lack in real life. Dreams about video games can also help the addict work through any problems they may be facing in their life. For example, if an addict has trouble with a certain level in a game, they may dream about beating that level and resolving the issue.
While dreaming about games may not be bad at face value, it shows us that our minds are attached to the games we play even when we are not playing them.
How do you feel when you are not playing video games?
There is a difference between simply enjoying your hobby and having an addiction. Addicts often find themselves lost without their drug of choice. Not only does this person neglect their duties or responsibilities for their gaming, but they also become anxious or irritable. Are you constantly thinking about playing when you should be focused on family, work, or other activities?
How much time do you spend with family or friends?
Involvement with video games can take away from personal relationships. It is important to maintain both to have a healthy outlook on life. The most pervasive myth about the social consequences of video game playing is that it creates anti-social personalities. People who play video games excessively are not necessarily anti-social; they simply need to limit their gaming time to maintain healthy relationships.
A lack of attention and care for loved ones or a complete disregard for household rules or responsibilities could be due to excessive time spent playing games. Self-awareness of how your action or inaction impacts others is a known key to a successful life. If you ignore the people around you and their needs, you may need to impose limits on your playing.
Impacts of excessive gaming:
Lack of communication is one of the most common side effects of a dysfunctional relationship. When someone is addicted to anything, whether it be drugs, alcohol, or video games, their inhibitions lower, and they become less inhibited in social situations. Someone with an addiction will not make time for friends and family because they prefer to stay home and play video games than go out with others. Family members may feel like they are becoming replaced since their loved ones would rather play games than spend quality time together. Even though individuals may say they are trying to get better, they could just be lying so that others do not leave them. This behavior can cause stress on the family members left at home.
The second negative impact on relationships is that it affects one’s mood. Video game addiction can cause someone to feel very isolated. When someone feels isolated, they are more likely to become depressed and even contemplate suicide. Since psychological issues are frequently linked with video game addiction, some patients undergo counseling for both their video game addiction and their mental health issue(s). Although this may not directly affect one’s relationship, if a person neglects other areas in his life such as school or work, this could create a rift between those around him or her.
Life is about balance. I’m not advocating for not playing video games. That would be hypocritical as I enjoy numerous hobbies. Find a balance between games and other areas of your life. Meet friends. Spend time with family or significant others. Play games, but also do something productive.
Give yourself goals for what you want to accomplish during the day. Maybe these goals are not things that directly benefit you right now but could be things that will help you in the future. Or maybe you want to read a book or two. Whatever you do, do it with balance.